A Writing Lull

July 11, 2013 § Leave a comment

I have not been in a writing mood lately, and yet I miss it. I want to be in one. Maybe it’s lacking because of the new job or fun distractions with friends or not enough sleep or all of the above. I like having ideas or phrases or glimpses flitting around in my mind–a snatch of a potential conversation between two characters, a quotable thought, an unexplored issue that deserves more scrutiny, an outrage, an inspiration, a scene or a daydream.

I’m reading much right now, specifically some books to review and then others I’ve been slowly walking through simultaneously as is my way: this, that, and the other. I’ll get around to them all eventually. I know reading can be the spark to pick up a pen myself. There’s been plenty of journaling and writing out my prayers, but nothing more in a creative vein. I wonder and ponder and nothing much comes to mind to pursue. I’ve started to question where that need has gone. In the face of a current contentment, perhaps the push to create, to make, has gone dormant. It brings to mind an idea I’ve read before, most recently from Julian Fellowes, the man behind Downton Abbey, that happiness is the hardest to dramatize. That happy stories don’t lend themselves to riveting performances.

In my life, I wonder if this plays itself out in the lack of push or fervor without conflict or turmoil? Wrestling with unanswered questions or insecurities, opposing internal and external forces, does provide the basis of most art. Yet, a sense of contentment is the most sought after, even coveted, state. I certainly don’t begrudge it and its place in my heart. Yet, in all I have added to my life lately, something feels subtracted. Routine has edged out following where each day leads, or, put another way, a lazy unencumbered leisure. Time with friends, welcome and sought after, does cut into time alone with my percolating thoughts. The nearness of everything that was so far away a few months ago keeps opportunities abounding and my hours full.
It’s a welcome time, truly, just bringing with it its own adjustments as well as rewards.

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